The Passionate Life

Let the Summertime Fun Begin!

2011-06-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

School has been out for one week now, and so far, we are having a terrific summer. My 15 year old has said a couple of times, "Wow, we've done so much already" and she's right.

Here's a partial list: a trip to East Texas to visit my mom and aunt; swimming at our neighborhood pool which we love because the pool is quite large and is in a beautiful setting with the wooded greenbelt behind it; eating sweet and savory crepes (thanks to my 17 year old who is a complete Francophile); watching some good movies and shows(which include the 1993 version of Secret Garden and a BBC documentary, The Great Rift); watching the NBA playoffs (especially my husband and 15 year old; we're disappointed the Oklahoma City Thunder didn't make it to the finals, but we're rooting for the Dallas Mavericks now); and volunteering at the library (my 15 and 17-year-old daughters).

Since we are only one week into summer, we have some fun things planned ahead, including going to a Redhawks baseball game, visiting the Oklahoma City Zoo which is absolutely beautiful as well as the OKC Museum of Art, and some more travel.

One of our favorite things to do in the summertime is to read more than we are able to during the school year. Some of the books I've read recently (mostly before school got out) include Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua (I can definitely see why this book has been controversial in terms of parenting styles, and while I didn't agree with everything the author had to say, I realized that she wrote the book somewhat tongue-in-cheek, and found it engaging and thought-provoking), A Red Herring without Mustard by Alan Bradley (this is book #3 in a series; I liked it better than book two but not as much as book one--The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie); Miles to Go by Richard Paul Evans (this is book #2 in a series about a widower who, in his grief over the loss of his wife, decides to walk across the U.S.; I'll Walk Alone by Mary Higgins Clark and The Peach Keeper by Sarah Addison Allen. Looking forward to reading more this summer. I definitely plan to add one or more of Jane Austen's books in, probably Persuasion or Sense and Sensibility. I read Emma last summer.

My top reading goal this summer is to reread The Book of Mormon. I have read it many times before but never in a matter of a few weeks or even a couple of months because I always get caught up in it and really focus on an individual story or set of verses or theme, but this summer, I am bound and determined to read it faster to get a better overall feel for the scope of the book, a book that has positively shaped my life and outlook for as long as I can remember.

I would love to hear your suggestions for a good read this summer, whether it's a book that is just for fun or one that can change or enhance one's life. Thanks always for your thoughtful letters and notes. Happy Reading and Happy Summer ahead!

Love and Blessings,

Debra

A Long Overdue Update

2011-05-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I have missed talking with you through my blog posts, but I'm back now. A lot has happened since I last wrote and I confess it is a little overwhelming to try to figure out the best way to catch up without overwhelming readers or myself...but after some thought, I have decided that the best way to catch up is to just share with you directly but briefly what has been going on.

The last 18 months have honestly felt like one emotional tsunami after another. My mother-in-law died of leukemia in November of 2009, and then my father-in-law passed away in July of 2010 (a broken heart from missing his wife), and then my father's melanoma cancer took a turn for the worse last fall and he passed away in early February of this year. Weeks after he passed on, one of my very best friends, Mary, died after a short and fierce battle with esophageal cancer.

Each of these loved ones has played a significant and important part of my life, and to see each of them suffer so much and then to pass on in rapid succession has been hard. I have great faith that I will see them again but for now I miss them terribly.

Out of a deep desire to honor their lives, I helped to write the eulogy for three of them, doing my best, to capture the texture of their lives and how precious they were to me and so many others. I delivered the eulogy for my father and dear friend Mary at their funerals. It meant a lot to me to be able to remember them in such a way.

I am not yet one of those people who can say, "I am so very thankful for all of my challenges," but I can say that I am thankful for the tender mercies I have experienced during the tough times and I am thankful for the lessons I have learned during them.

I confess I miss my dad the most, but I am so thankful for the incredibly precious moments I experienced with him during the last days of his life. My father was an attorney who was an advocate for those in need. He helped, on a daily basis, individuals who could not afford an attorney. And he helped many. He was still fighting cases in the courtroom in November but things went quickly downhill from there.

During the last weeks of his life, he was barely able to speak because of the tumor in his brain. Even so, he taught me some extraordinary lessons on gratitude and service during that time. If my Dad could be so grateful for the good in his life in the midst of such suffering and could still somehow seek to serve others, I can ask no less of myself. He has left quite a legacy and so I will go forward in my life, striving to honor his legacy of service, gratitude, hard work, attending church faithfully, among other things. I am truly blessed to call William Anderson Sansing my Dad--past, present and forever.

Okay, so I thought I would keep it short and simple, but that turned out to be too great a challenge. I am just glad to be back in touch with you. Thanks always for your thoughtful notes and feedback. I am most appreciative.

Love and Blessings,

Debra

Best Seller Status for Mothering with Spiritual Power

2010-07-09T08:59:00.001-07:00

During the last month, my first book, Mothering with Spiritual Power: Book of Mormon Inspirations for Raising a Righteous Family, hit LDS best seller status in total number of copies sold! I was so excited and a little relieved to hear this. I had really hoped that a book focused on motherhood and how the Book of Mormon can support us as mothers would strike a chord with LDS mothers and it seems it has.

It's wild to think back to when my book first came out. I had looked forward to its publication for many months after I signed the publication contract and then the time finally came. It was amazing to hold a copy of the published book in my hands. If you are a writer, I hope you experience the same someday (if you haven't already). As exciting as that time was, it was also a difficult time because I was fighting cancer simultaneously with the publication of my book and wasn't able to do physically all I had planned to do to help promote the book.

It seems though that God was watching out for me. My health improved and some amazing things happened with the book. Among them, I received some excellent reviews from Meridian Magazine and LDS Living who featured it as "The Editor's Pick", and word-of mouth picked up pretty quick (not enough can be said about what a gift word-of-mouth is for any author). Knowing so many things were coming together to help get the word out on a book that meant so much to me allowed me to relax some and focus on regaining my health.

One of my favorite things about having this book out in the world has been hearing back from readers. Your emails and letters have meant so much to me. I love hearing your feedback on the book itself, but even more, I love hearing your stories of how the Gospel has supported and affirmed you in your role as a mother. As I celebrate today, I want to thank you for your part in helping to make my book a success. Thank you. And happy mothering ahead!

Love and Blessings,

Debra

Giving Thanks Every Day

2010-07-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I experienced a couple of powerful reminders of just how blessed I am and how I don't want to take my blessings for granted.

The first reminder occurred when I stopped by to get a quick upper lip wax at a salon a friend had recommended. I mentioned to the cosmetologist that I had never needed an upper lip wax until I had ovarian cancer and was thrown into menopause by the treatment. She asked a few questions about my cancer, one of which is one of the most popular questions any cancer survivor is asked -- "How did you figure out/find out you had cancer?"

This question is most often asked by those who have had experience with cancer first-hand, either their own or a loved-one's. So it was not a complete surprise when she told me a little further into the conversation that her 7 year old daughter is a cancer survivor. Her young daughter had survived a brain tumor, but only after 18 months of a harsh regimen of chemotherapy and radiation to save her life.

I had only known this woman for a few minutes but felt a deep connection with her and the experience she had been through with her beloved child. I tried to hold back the tears as she told me her story. My own mother-in-law died from cancer last fall, my father has beaten melanoma back from stage IV and I have survived cancer, but even with all of that experience, I cannot get my mind around what it must be like to have a child who has had to battle such a deadly disease.

I was deeply affected by the obvious love this mother had for her daughter and the enormous sacrifices she made to care for her during that time. We both agreed that this life is a precious gift, and that our loved ones are the best gift this life has to offer, and that we shouldn't waste a day taking anything or anyone for granted.

The second reminder about how much I have to be grateful for occurred just hours later in the afternoon and early evening. My husband, younger children and I were out clothes shopping about seven miles south of our home. The clouds looked threatening but not threatening enough to keep us home. I usually stay tuned to the weather on the internet or TV but had not that day. My husband shopped with my son to help him find some new pants and shirts and I worked with my younger daughters to help them find the clothes they needed.

During our shopping trip, my 20 year old daughter called my husband frantic about where we were. He told her that we were shopping and she was relieved because she said that she had attempted to drive into our neighborhood after work and the entrance which is by a pond and near a creek had turned into a raging river with the rain (which was especially heavy in and around our neighborhood). She had managed to park on higher ground and walked along that higher ground to our home. She told us though that a neighbor and a very dear friend of ours had not been so lucky.

Louise had been caught in the floodwaters just inside our neighborhood and almost swept away. Thankfully, firemen and others were able to rescue her. After the floodwaters cleared the roadways, we drove toward home, past my friend's car, abandoned by the pond, and directly over to her house. She had been out talking to neighbors and was walking back to her house when we drove up the street. When we pulled up alongside her, I couldn't stop looking at her as she shared her story. I was so relieved that she was okay. Years ago, I had had my own experience with being suddenly caught in flash floodwaters and I knew firsthand how frightening it can be and how you know after you survived, that things could have turned out differently. I am so glad and give thanks in my prayers today that my dear friend Louise survived.

As I write this for myself and to share with you, I reaffirm my commitment to give thanks through my prayers and my actions every day for the blessings that are mine. I will not take them for granted, so as I close, just let me say, thank you for being one of my favorite blessings as a reader and a friend.

Love and Blessings to You,

Debra

Happy New Year!

2010-01-07T07:41:00.001-08:00

I feel a wonderful sense of optimism as the new year begins. So many positive possibilities up ahead and I plan to make the most of them.

2009 was a terrific year in so many ways but not without it's challenges and sad times. The saddest for us was my husband's mother's death on November 10th. We had been given just a few weeks notice that her death was imminent after a decade long battle with leukemia. She was a very stoic woman and fought valiantly for years and managed to enjoy a good quality of life for many of those years. I still haven't fully processed the reality that she is no longer here with us on earth. I do believe that there is a life after this life and look forward to seeing her then, but for now, I find myself sometimes having conversations with her...just telling her (through my thoughts) what I would like for her to know about how her grandchildren are doing or to ask her what she thinks of a particular book (we shared a great love for our family and for books).

While our relationship wasn't perfect (what relationship is?), it evolved into something beautiful and mutually rewarding over the years. She was a very bold and outspoken woman who had strong opinions and an enormous sense of joy for life. It took me a few years to learn to speak my mind as honestly and openly as she spoke hers. I will always be grateful for the lessons she taught me in this regard. Also, I will always be grateful for the example she set of living an active and rich life. She loved to walk, square dance, and golf and continued to volunteer to serve others until the end of her life. My husband paid a lovely and moving tribute to his mother at the memorial service. She would have been touched. I love and her and I miss her and I plan, in tribute to her, to make the most of my life and encourage my children to do the same.

As I look back over 2009,the wildest dream I fulfilled during the year was to take a trip to Europe. I was born in England and had never been back to visit. My then 18 year old daughter and I traveled to Germany first to see my sister (whose husband was stationed in the military there until recently). We were thoroughly enchanted with the fairy-tale like villages, the mountains, the snow and how green it was even in the dead of winter. While in Germany, we traveled by train to Trier (the former northern outpost of the Roman Empire)and soaked in the sights.

From Germany, we traveled on a chartered tour bus through Switzerland to Italy and toured Pisa, Florence, Rome, Vatican City, Sorrento, Pompeii, the Isle of Capri, Naples, and Venice (all exquisite; we must have pinched ourselves a thousand times, we were so awestruck by the sights we saw...so much more amazing than we had imagined).

And then we traveled to England. I drove on the left side of the road. That alone was pretty crazy but driving on the "wrong side" of the road was not nearly as crazy as the traffic circles I had to drive through. In some countries you have a circular green space that defines the center of a traffic circle or roundabout, but in England it can be something as indistinct as a small white circle painted in the center of the intersection accompanied by very distinct rules that indicates who has right-of-way. It was crazy. We would be traveling on a major street and a car would come shooting out at us from a side street without any warning because there was a roundabout I hadn't noticed and they had right-of-way. Thankfully, we survived to tour the lovely counties of Essex and Suffolk by car. While there, we stayed in a medieval bed and breakfast (our friend Amy who was traveling with us kept saying "I feel like I am in a story book" during our B&B stay. We felt the same).

We also visited with friends in England who attend the church my family attended when I was little. They showed us a wonderful time. Two families invited us for dinner. One fixed us a proper American meal and the other fixed us a traditional English feast. When people tell me they can't stand English food, I tell them they haven't eaten at Becky's. Her father was a chef and her family ran a small hotel while she was growing up on the Cornwall coast. I have thought about that meal many times since.

After touring the countryside, we moved onto London and were unexpectedly bowled over by the city. So much to see. So much to do. It is a city that pulsates with energy. And transportation,once you figure out the tube and bus system, is a whiz. We toured every site possible in the few days we were there. One of the highlights of our time in London was seeing two plays on the West End: Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera. Both were good but by the end of Les Miz we were absolutely speechless.

If you ever want to travel to any of these places, I hope you'll make a plan to do it. You will not be disappointed. We traveled very frugally but saw an astonishing amount. It helped that we traveled in the off-season (February) and that Europeans were so eager for American tourists. If you ever go to London and want some suggestions for where to stay and how to navigate the city, please let me know. I'd love to share what we learned.

As afar as 2010 goes, I'd love to head off to Europe again, especially with my husband and children. However, like so many I know, we are currently experiencing the downsides of a sagging economy. And I know we aren't the only ones. I was truly sobered recently when I received a Christmas letter from a friend mentioning that she (an engineer) and her husband (a marketing manager) had been laid off this past year in Austin. It is a challenging time for many. And so my goal for this year is to make the very best of things as they are while hoping and working for better.

My big goals for 2010: I plan to learn to play the piano and write a novel. Although a complete beginner on the piano, I've made some real progress already (although my children are tired of the simple songs I play over and over until I perfect them). As far as the novel goes, I've developed an outline and just about completed the first chapter. I am challenged but not overwhelmed (so far) by the process. I also plan to have fun with my family, mostly right here at home, but with some travels to see extended family (another trip to Europe will have to wait until I write that bestseller). I hope that my post finds you in good spirits and making the most of your new year. Best wishes to you. And a Happy New Year!

As I close, let me leave you with this thought: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Love and Blessings,

Debra

A Refreshing Five Days with 55 Children

2009-11-09T07:37:00.001-08:00

I can assure you that "refreshing" was not the first word that came to mind when I heard about the opportunity to spend five days of 24/7 with my 10-year-old daughter and her 5th grade classmates in the Arbuckle Mountains of southern Oklahoma. Rather, as much as I wanted to participate in the November "Outdoor School" our elementary school offers to 5th graders, I imagined that it would be challenging and exhausting more than refreshing and, at times, it was.

But, really and truly, I found the week to be refreshing and energizing overall. For starters, the setting was absolutely beautiful. We stayed in cabins at a wooded 2,400 acre YMCA camp called Camp Classen. The weather was on the cool side of an Indian summer and the autumnal colors were at fever pitch.

I was assigned to a cabin with 9 girls and 3 moms (including my daughter and me). It was clear from the beginning that these were not girls who were driven by to-do lists as I so often am. Rather, they were living in the moment and their enthusiasm for the here and now was absolutely infectious. So, while we stayed busy each day from early morning to late in the evening with planned activities, we were not rushing to get through one thing to go on to the next. Instead, we were fully engaged in whatever activity we were participating in at the time.

Here are just a few of the activities we participated in:

3 major daytime hikes (including climbing sheer rock and multiple water crossings)
a nighttime hike (we hiked down a rocky ridge with only moonlight to light our path)
a challenge course that fostered teamwork
dissecting owl pellets and re-creating the animals the owl had eaten
learning about and handling snakes
canoeing
archery
digging for fossils (from when Oklahoma was part of an ocean)
skits
camp songs
and so much more

The week included some major personal victories for me with the hikes and climbing. When I was so ill for a couple of years, I wasn't sure I would ever participate in such activities again. Now the door is wide open on the possibilities.

Another aspect I found to be completely refreshing was the time I spent socializing with the girls (they were so open, honest, funny, and fun) and other moms (Lisa and Gina, fantastic women and moms)I roomed with. I learned something from each of them. I especially enjoyed staying up extra late the last night and talking with Lisa and Gina about the books we have each enjoyed reading. I look forward to following up on their suggestions.

And so, the week at camp is over, but the impact, I can tell even now, will be lasting. I find myself yearning to be in nature more than ever, to return to the family hikes we've let fall by the wayside over the years. I also find myself letting go of worrying about what I have yet to do in favor of giving my full attention to what I am doing right now. I do not have to live my life in a constant rush from one to-do to another. I can, if I choose, live with a little camp spirit every day -- enjoying nature, the activities I'm involved in, and the people I'm with. What a gift the visionary teachers and administrators who made such a life-changing week possible have given us. I, for one, plan to make the most of their gift. Here's to the soothing effects of nature and living in the moment a little more every day.

The Creative Life -- Mine and Yours

2009-10-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

I wrote both of my books -- Mothering with Spiritual Power and It's Okay to Take a Nap -- as my part in a conversation with mothers like you. Hearing back from readers has been a wonderfully satisfying continuation of the conversation I started with those books. Thank you for your e-mails and letters. I have enjoyed hearing from you. You inspire me.

People often ask me, "What's it like to have a book published?" and I can honestly say that it's great. Writing books is what I hope to do for the rest of my life. I'll never forget the months leading up to the publication of my first book -- signing the publication agreement, seeing the cover art for the first time (authors rarely select the book cover), and then, opening the box containing my newly published books and holding a copy in my hands. It was definitely a powerful moment where a big dream became reality.

So, now that I have two books under my belt, readers are beginning to ask "When are you going to write your next book?" and while I cannot say for sure yet, I'm getting closer. There was a time when I wondered if I would write another book, if I would live to write another book. You see, the same month my first book came out (and I had just finished writing my second book), I was in the hospital having surgery for ovarian cancer.

I had always been very healthy but had felt increasingly weak and out of sorts physically. I knew something was wrong and it was. Curiously, I ended up not just with cancer but with some other serious health issues as well -- a severe back injury, a second surgery, etc., so the reality is that it has taken me a long time to feel in a condition to write again. Even once I started feeling better, it took a long time to regain a handle on my home, family and church responsibilities, but I'm there now. I'm feeling terrific overall. I am in remission from cancer and feel a growing sense of balance and well-being in my personal life.

And so, I have begun to write again, starting with this blog and continuing with magazine and newspaper articles and, yes, before long, I hope, another book. So, the next question readers ask is "What are you going to write next?" And I have to confess that I'm divided. I'm considering heading in two very different directions -- possibly another non-fiction book (something written for a wider audience) or maybe, just maybe, a novel.

Some years ago, I took a creative writing class at the University of Texas and the James Michener fellow who taught it encouraged me to turn my short story into a novella. I did not follow up on her suggestion, but she planted a seed and one I'm beginning to desire more and more to nurture.

So, I'm currently dabbling with a novel idea. I have the core characters, a plot, some scenes, and a few pages written. It's dramatic fiction with some humor and, of course, some drama. Very strong themes about love and loss, right and wrong, and the choices we make. I think the opening sentence would hook the reader and while I'm tempted to share it now, I think I'll wait awhile so I can let the creative juices marinate the possibilities a little longer.

As I write this, I find myself wondering about your creative life. What do you enjoy creating? I am inspired by my friends who quilt, garden, sing, play the piano, bake and pursue other creative paths. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

A Little Heavenly Quiet

2009-10-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

Each of us likely has stories to tell about how the Internet and other technologies have enhanced our lives. The Internet alone has been a welcome advance in our household. For starters, it was through the Internet that I learned that my best chance of surviving ovarian cancer was to seek medical care from a gynecologic oncologist. For that knowledge, I will always be grateful.

I find that the Internet enhances my life in other ways as well. Among them, my children and I have some great times together researching a variety of subjects on the Web, everything from the life and times of Elizabeth I to the Puffin colonies in the North Sea; I enjoy listening to podcasts and music (via pandora.com); and I love staying in touch with friends, family, authors, and readers like you.

With all of this said, I sometimes feel concerned that if I'm not careful, I may allow technology (including the Internet, cell phones, mp-3 players, etc.)to deprive me of having real and meaningful relationships, including relationships with the people I love most. Do you ever find yourself thinking similar thoughts?

Given these feelings, you can probably imagine the intrigue I felt when I ran across an article in the November 2, 2009 issue of Newsweek entitled "The Devil Loves Cell Phones." In the article, author Julia Baird writes that "In the Middle Ages, Christian scholars believed that Satan did not want human beings to be alone with God, or with each other, fully alert and listening." Fast forward hundreds of years and I think there's reason to be concerned that Satan may be using our own technological advances to succeed.

In the same article, Julia Baird quotes author Sara Maitland as saying, "I am convinced that as a whole society we are losing something precious in our increasingly silence-avoiding culture and that somehow, whatever this silence might be, it needs holding, nourishing, and unpacking."

I, for one, have decided that I want to be sure to hold, nourish, and unpack the silence that can be available to us every day if we clear out enough technological clutter to make room for it. I find I'm better at doing this when I begin my days in quiet prayer. Elder David A. Bednar, an apostle in the Mormon church, encourages us to create our days spiritually through prayer before we create them physically through our actions. As I have sought to implement his counsel, I have felt an increasing sense of peace and clarity permeate my days.

When I begin each day with some measure of prayerful contemplation, I find that I am more conscious of sewing pockets of quiet into my family's days as well. When I say "quiet," I am talking about a silencing of the cell phones, the Internet, the television, and so on so that we can have some real time as a family to connect with each other. The more my husband and I seek to create these pockets of quiet in which to nurture our family, the more we feel a sense of family and find ourselves sharing experiences we will cherish and remember for years to come.

Let me assure you that as I write this, I am still working to find the balance that works best for my family and me. How much technology do I allow into my daily life? This is the question that I will be exploring for some time to come.

I confess that sometimes more technology sneaks into my life than I had originally intended. For example, I tell myself when jumping on the Internet, "I just want to look up one thing" and then before I know it, I've checked the weather, responded to e-mails, read a few compelling news articles and so on, until 30 minutes have passed when I had intended only two.

When I'm tempted to jump on the Internet for something that is not urgent, I recall my friend Victoria's example. She strives to not get on the Internet more than once in a day, usually in the evening after she's accomplished the other things she wanted and needed to do that day. This helps her to stay focused on the things that are most important to her during the day while allowing for Internet time to serve as a reward in the evening. If she thinks of something during the day that she wants to do on the Internet but does not need to do right away, she jots a reminder on a pad of paper and saves it until her "planned Internet time" in the evening. This is a clever strategy that works well for her and can serve as an inspiration for the rest of us.

I firmly believe that technology can be a wonderful blessing in our lives. We just need to be conscious of what part we are allowing it to play in our lives now and then thoughtful about how we will proceed from here. With this said, I have enjoyed connecting with you through this blog post, but I think I'll sign off for now and go spend some time with my family. Take care. I hope you'll make room for a little heavenly quiet in the days to come.

An Aspiring Lemonade Queen

2009-10-19T11:31:00.002-07:00

For most of my life I have been what I think of as an optimist overall. However, when I was blindsided by a couple of very difficult years with cancer, a serious back injury and two major surgeries while facing other worrisome challenges, I found myself turning into a rather gifted pessimist. I had developed the habit of dwelling on my losses and limitations rather than accepting what I could not control and focusing instead on what I could do to make the most of my life.

Some things got better like the fact that I am in remission from cancer. And for that, I am very grateful. But others continue to challenge me. Thankfully though, there came a time when I realized that I had to, if I wanted to be happy, take the lemons life had handed me and make the best lemonade I could make, maybe even lemon pie.

A turning point for me came one day when I was in bed with a back injury that was so serious I could hardly move. We had just received the news that my father had cancer and all I could think was "This cannot be happening." I had just entered remission myself and thought surely my father couldn't have cancer now, not on the heels of mine. His cancer was inoperable and I was very worried about his future. I pulled the covers over my head, wanting it all to go away, wanting life to return to the life I had known so well just a couple of years before, a life where challenges didn't come in one tidal wave after another. But, there was no wishing this challenge or the others away. My husband reminded me of this when he said (in response to my father's diagnosis), "It is what it is and we have to deal with what it is."

It may seem strange to some, but as soon as he said that, I felt a load lift. The load lifted because I realized that any amount of railing against the unfairness of it all or any unwillingness to accept reality was not going to change things. The best thing I could do was to take the very sour lemons life had handed me and work with them to make something more palatable, even something positive if possible.

In the case of my father's cancer, I prayed for him. I prayed for his doctors. I talked with my dad on the phone a lot, mostly striving to be a sounding board, a listening support as he and my mom sought the best possible medical care for his cancer (which turned out to be M.D. Anderson in Houston). I sent him some books to support him in his cancer fight and others to take his mind off the fight. I traveled to visit him whenever I could. And I worked to let go, to surrender my worries and to choose faith instead.

With my Dad's cancer, the doctors (and our entire family) took some terribly sour lemons and turned them into an amazing lemon pie. My father has gone from having stage IV Melanoma to testing negative for cancer. Its a miracle. And one that we are grateful for. Things do not always turn out this way. We do not always experience the best possible outcome. I have lost loved ones and friends to cancer. My mother-in-law is fighting a tough battle with cancer as I write this. But, no matter what, we can always take the lemons we are given and accept them for what they are -- lemons -- and make the best lemonade or lemon pie possible. In the case of my mother-in-law, we pray for a miracle, seek to be there for her, and enjoy the time we have with her.

Over the last couple of years, as I have faced multiple challenges, I have learned that hyper-focusing on the lemons life inevitably brings leaves us swimming in nothing but a sea of lemon juice whereas taking those lemons and mixing in some sweetness and a few other select ingredients can bring us a measure of joy and satisfaction regardless of our circumstances.

My goal, for the rest of my life, is to be an aspiring lemonade queen. I am not talking about being a naive Pollyanna, acting like things are okay no matter what. After all, there are times when periods of heartache and grief are absolutely called for. Rather, I am talking about working with the realities of my life to make the best life possible for my family and me. This is my goal. I hope you'll join me. I'll report back on my progress in future posts. I'd love to hear your stories of how you've taken the small or big lemons in your life and made something meaningful and perhaps even wonderful with them.

Autumn Pleasures

2009-10-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

I love the cooler weather and the turning of the leaves. Some of my favorite autumn pleasures include fires in the fireplace, apple cider or hot chocolate, and chocolate chip pumpkin muffins. I just made a double batch of muffins which makes about 50, plenty for my family and to share with friends. Our home is saturated with the smells of pumpkin and spices. Yum!

Another of my favorite autumn pleasures is reading. I have a stack of books waiting in my bookshelf headboard (every book lover should have one), each one beckoning. One book I'm looking especially forward to reading is The Secret Diary of Charlotte Bronte by Syrie James who wrote the fantastic The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen. I know some who feel no one should attempt to write anything remotely pretending to be Charlotte Bronte or Jane Austen and oftentimes I feel the same way. But in the very capable hands of Syrie James such an attempt is well worth reading. I'll let you know what I think of her newest book once I've read it.

I hope this post finds you doing well and enjoying the scents, sights and feel of autumn. Thank you so much for your letters and notes. I love hearing from you. I'm sending well wishes for a Happy Autumn along with a recipe for some yummy hot cocoa (an autumn and winter favorite):

Easiest-Ever Hot Cocoa Recipe

4 cups powdered milk
2 cups sugar
1 cup cocoa

Mix all of the ingredients together. Scoop out 1/4 to 1/3 cup of the hot cocoa mix and add to 8 ounces of hot water. Stir. Add some whipping cream or marshmallows and enjoy. Stores beautifully for a cup of cocoa on demand.