My Greatest Blessing

I have long taken the scriptural counsel to live in thanksgiving daily, so I am thankful for many things, but most of all, I am thankful for my family. It is hard for me to imagine a time when I wasn't married to my husband and didn't have these five children, three who are now adults. I'm still trying to absorb that reality.

When I was a young mother, mothers who were further along the path of raising children told me to make the most of the years I have with my children because the years would pass quickly. I had a hard time believing that because sometimes, honestly, the days felt pretty long as I tried to meet everyone's needs, changing diapers, preparing meals, cleaning and providing comfort. Even so, the years have flown.

As I write this, my second daughter is more than a year into her 18-month mission trip for our church (we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, commonly referred to as Mormons). She is in the Finland Helsinki Mission and has served in Kuopio, Helsinki, Lappeenranta (along the Russian border) and now a town less than 100 miles from the Arctic Circle. I smiled when I received a photo of her this past week covered in snow after a long bicycle ride across the city where she serves. After all, she could barely stand the cold before she left and now she embraces life in the wintry north with a smile on her face as she shares her deep and abiding faith in Jesus Christ and His Great Plan of Happiness.

And now, as hard as it is to believe, my third daughter (who loves cold weather!) leaves in a little over a month for six weeks in Ghana and then on to her mission trip in Madagascar. We are so excited for her.

Friends have asked me how I'll stand having two daughters gone at the same time, incommunicado except for weekly emails and bi-annual Skype sessions (at Christmas and on Mother's Day), and the answer is how can I not? After all, while our lives have not been perfect, as a family we have experienced such enormous joy overall as we have sought to keep Christ at the center of our lives, that I want for my daughters to be able to share with others what they have learned about finding happiness.

I miss my daughter in Finland and will soon miss my other daughter when she goes to Africa, but I am so thankful for all the years I've had with them, for the opportunities they have now, and for the many years of being a family ahead, whether my children are near or far. I am thankful for the knowledge that families really can be together forever. On the good days and the more challenging days, this is the family for me. I am blessed.

Let the Four Month Mid-Life Revolution Begin!

With my 17 year old daughter's strong encouragement, I am going to pick up blogging again, mostly to focus on healthy eating and fitness over the next four months. I will throw in some other subjects like my favorite books or a movie I've enjoyed or just life themes like happiness, etc. but the primary impetus at this point is to connect with others who want to take exceptional care of themselves, but sometimes fall short.

Why am I picking four months as my time-frame? Well, in four months exactly from today, I turn 48. And I want to do it with pizazz. I remember celebrating my 40th birthday with a sunset swim with about 20 or so of my friends. Many things were going very well for me at that time. I was a long-distance runner. I was fit. I was publishing articles as a freelance writer and, more importantly, having a great time as a mother to my children. I thought I had the world by the tail. A friend and I vowed to make our forties the fabulous forties...well, they have been fabulous in many regards, but they have also been challenging.

On the bright side, I went from being a freelance writer to a published book author at the age of 42. On the crazy side, the month my first book came out (September 2007) was the same month I was in the hospital after major surgery for ovarian cancer. I came out of that surgery very weak and injured myself badly shortly after which resulted in back surgery only months later and years of struggling with nerve damage that went from my back down through my left leg and foot. I wasn't able to run during that time and ended up putting on a lot of weight. Not helping matters any were other very stressful events like the serious illness and death of both of my husband's parents and my father and a very dear friend in rapid succession. I never thought that I would write and deliver two eulogies in a matter of weeks for two people I love as much as I love my dad and my dear friend Mary. We struggled through it all with lots of prayer and, in my case, lots of food.

A little over a year after I was declared cancer-free, I had weighed almost 40 pounds more than I weighed when I was in the hospital. A big breakthrough came when I was able to start running again in June of 2011. It was not easy and I still deal with residual nerve damage that is worse sometimes than others, but I felt soooooo free being able to run again (jog, I should say). I have even run some road races again in the last year or so. Not as fast as I used to be...some of that because of age and some because of my nerve damage, but I may be the happiest slow runner out there.

With a return to running, I lost about 15 pounds in a matter of months and I felt so much better. During the same time period, I made stabs at eating healthier, but I didn't go all out (though I intended to). The next big breakthrough came about a year later in May of 2012 when I was visiting the local YMCA for my regular weight workout. My friend Debbie Wog who is an amazing fitness trainer, teacher and expert invited me to attend her Body Pump class. I have never been a fan of exercise classes (I feel a bit uncoordinated trying to stay in sync with other participants), but I thought I'd give it a try and the first time out I was hooked. It is basically a very, very challenging free weight class where you exercise everything in 55 strenuous minutes - biceps, back, thighs, abs, everything. With that class, I have gained more strength than I have had in years. I didn't lose weight, but I am pretty sure I lost some inches and just felt better about myself overall.

Part III of my get fit and lose weight program came into being when I finally got motivated to rework my diet. I have always loved healthy food but not exclusively. I am also a really big fan of combos that include sugar,flour and butter in yummy homemade things. But between my husband's heart attack a year ago and my own terrible LDL Cholesterol level(categorized as severely elevated in my lab work), I was finally motivated to work on the diet. Dr. Caldwell B. Esselstyn's book, "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease," was a life changer. It argues for an extreme diet, focusing on fruits, vegetables, whole grains and beans, but he says that even if you do it about 85% you will have dramatic results in weight loss and cholesterol. And I have definitely had positive results in weight loss with another 12 pounds lost which brings me to a 27 pound total weight loss since June of 2011. And I want to lose 5 to 10 pounds more between now and my birthday as well as have my LDL cholesterol test in the normal range.

Another motivator for finishing the weight loss strong by June 20th is that two years ago, my oldest daughter Amanda told me that she wanted to take me shopping and buy me a new outfit for my birthday. I told her how touched I was by her offer and that I really wanted to take her up on it, but needed to lose weight desperately before I would feel good about getting a new outfit...so she's been waiting patiently overall and I think that this year is the year! I even told my husband that I would like him and the rest of the kids to help pick out another outfit or two for me for my birthday!

So, yes, I am motivated. I have worked hard the last 20 months to take better care of myself and I want to be especially focused on driving the weight loss to the finish line in the next 4 months. When I celebrate my birthday, I want to feel strong and energetic so I can make the most of all the years yet to come.

What about you? What's your story as far as nutrition and fitness? What are your goals for the next week? The next month? And the next four months? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

As I close this letter to you, just let me say that I have learned for myself that we don't have to be perfect in our efforts to have measurable progress. Heaven knows, I haven't been perfect since June 2011, but I've lost 27 pounds and feel better than I have in years, including feeling better about myself.

If you'd like to feel better and do better when it comes to your health and well-being, join me. We can do it together. Here's a no-fat salad dressing to get you started. It's scrumptious. Jane's 3,2,1 Salad Dressing (from Preventing and Reversing Heart Disease):

3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons mustard of your choice (I use plain yellow)
1 tablespoon real maple syrup

Mix and pour over salad. Delicious!

That's it for now. Happy, healthy eating ahead!

Debra

Let the Summertime Fun Begin!

School has been out for one week now, and so far, we are having a terrific summer. My 15 year old has said a couple of times, "Wow, we've done so much already" and she's right.

Here's a partial list: a trip to East Texas to visit my mom and aunt; swimming at our neighborhood pool which we love because the pool is quite large and is in a beautiful setting with the wooded greenbelt behind it; eating sweet and savory crepes (thanks to my 17 year old who is a complete Francophile); watching some good movies and shows(which include the 1993 version of Secret Garden and a BBC documentary, The Great Rift); watching the NBA playoffs (especially my husband and 15 year old; we're disappointed the Oklahoma City Thunder didn't make it to the finals, but we're rooting for the Dallas Mavericks now); and volunteering at the library (my 15 and 17-year-old daughters).

Since we are only one week into summer, we have some fun things planned ahead, including going to a Redhawks baseball game, visiting the Oklahoma City Zoo which is absolutely beautiful as well as the OKC Museum of Art, and some more travel.

One of our favorite things to do in the summertime is to read more than we are able to during the school year. Some of the books I've read recently (mostly before school got out) include Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua (I can definitely see why this book has been controversial in terms of parenting styles, and while I didn't agree with everything the author had to say, I realized that she wrote the book somewhat tongue-in-cheek, and found it engaging and thought-provoking), A Red Herring without Mustard by Alan Bradley (this is book #3 in a series; I liked it better than book two but not as much as book one--The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie); Miles to Go by Richard Paul Evans (this is book #2 in a series about a widower who, in his grief over the loss of his wife, decides to walk across the U.S.; I'll Walk Alone by Mary Higgins Clark and The Peach Keeper by Sarah Addison Allen. Looking forward to reading more this summer. I definitely plan to add one or more of Jane Austen's books in, probably Persuasion or Sense and Sensibility. I read Emma last summer.

My top reading goal this summer is to reread The Book of Mormon. I have read it many times before but never in a matter of a few weeks or even a couple of months because I always get caught up in it and really focus on an individual story or set of verses or theme, but this summer, I am bound and determined to read it faster to get a better overall feel for the scope of the book, a book that has positively shaped my life and outlook for as long as I can remember.

I would love to hear your suggestions for a good read this summer, whether it's a book that is just for fun or one that can change or enhance one's life. Thanks always for your thoughtful letters and notes. Happy Reading and Happy Summer ahead!

Love and Blessings,

Debra

A Long Overdue Update

Hello Everyone,

I have missed talking with you through my blog posts, but I'm back now. A lot has happened since I last wrote and I confess it is a little overwhelming to try to figure out the best way to catch up without overwhelming readers or myself...but after some thought, I have decided that the best way to catch up is to just share with you directly but briefly what has been going on.

The last 18 months have honestly felt like one emotional tsunami after another. My mother-in-law died of leukemia in November of 2009, and then my father-in-law passed away in July of 2010 (a broken heart from missing his wife), and then my father's melanoma cancer took a turn for the worse last fall and he passed away in early February of this year. Weeks after he passed on, one of my very best friends, Mary, died after a short and fierce battle with esophageal cancer.

Each of these loved ones has played a significant and important part of my life, and to see each of them suffer so much and then to pass on in rapid succession has been hard. I have great faith that I will see them again but for now I miss them terribly.

Out of a deep desire to honor their lives, I helped to write the eulogy for three of them, doing my best, to capture the texture of their lives and how precious they were to me and so many others. I delivered the eulogy for my father and dear friend Mary at their funerals. It meant a lot to me to be able to remember them in such a way.

I am not yet one of those people who can say, "I am so very thankful for all of my challenges," but I can say that I am thankful for the tender mercies I have experienced during the tough times and I am thankful for the lessons I have learned during them.

I confess I miss my dad the most, but I am so thankful for the incredibly precious moments I experienced with him during the last days of his life. My father was an attorney who was an advocate for those in need. He helped, on a daily basis, individuals who could not afford an attorney. And he helped many. He was still fighting cases in the courtroom in November but things went quickly downhill from there.

During the last weeks of his life, he was barely able to speak because of the tumor in his brain. Even so, he taught me some extraordinary lessons on gratitude and service during that time. If my Dad could be so grateful for the good in his life in the midst of such suffering and could still somehow seek to serve others, I can ask no less of myself. He has left quite a legacy and so I will go forward in my life, striving to honor his legacy of service, gratitude, hard work, attending church faithfully, among other things. I am truly blessed to call William Anderson Sansing my Dad--past, present and forever.

Okay, so I thought I would keep it short and simple, but that turned out to be too great a challenge. I am just glad to be back in touch with you. Thanks always for your thoughtful notes and feedback. I am most appreciative.

Love and Blessings,

Debra

Best Seller Status for Mothering with Spiritual Power

During the last month, my first book, Mothering with Spiritual Power: Book of Mormon Inspirations for Raising a Righteous Family, hit LDS best seller status in total number of copies sold! I was so excited and a little relieved to hear this. I had really hoped that a book focused on motherhood and how the Book of Mormon can support us as mothers would strike a chord with LDS mothers and it seems it has.

It's wild to think back to when my book first came out. I had looked forward to its publication for many months after I signed the publication contract and then the time finally came. It was amazing to hold a copy of the published book in my hands. If you are a writer, I hope you experience the same someday (if you haven't already). As exciting as that time was, it was also a difficult time because I was fighting cancer simultaneously with the publication of my book and wasn't able to do physically all I had planned to do to help promote the book.

It seems though that God was watching out for me. My health improved and some amazing things happened with the book. Among them, I received some excellent reviews from Meridian Magazine and LDS Living who featured it as "The Editor's Pick", and word-of mouth picked up pretty quick (not enough can be said about what a gift word-of-mouth is for any author). Knowing so many things were coming together to help get the word out on a book that meant so much to me allowed me to relax some and focus on regaining my health.

One of my favorite things about having this book out in the world has been hearing back from readers. Your emails and letters have meant so much to me. I love hearing your feedback on the book itself, but even more, I love hearing your stories of how the Gospel has supported and affirmed you in your role as a mother. As I celebrate today, I want to thank you for your part in helping to make my book a success. Thank you. And happy mothering ahead!

Love and Blessings,

Debra

Giving Thanks Every Day

Yesterday I experienced a couple of powerful reminders of just how blessed I am and how I don't want to take my blessings for granted.

The first reminder occurred when I stopped by to get a quick upper lip wax at a salon a friend had recommended. I mentioned to the cosmetologist that I had never needed an upper lip wax until I had ovarian cancer and was thrown into menopause by the treatment. She asked a few questions about my cancer, one of which is one of the most popular questions any cancer survivor is asked -- "How did you figure out/find out you had cancer?"

This question is most often asked by those who have had experience with cancer first-hand, either their own or a loved-one's. So it was not a complete surprise when she told me a little further into the conversation that her 7 year old daughter is a cancer survivor. Her young daughter had survived a brain tumor, but only after 18 months of a harsh regimen of chemotherapy and radiation to save her life.

I had only known this woman for a few minutes but felt a deep connection with her and the experience she had been through with her beloved child. I tried to hold back the tears as she told me her story. My own mother-in-law died from cancer last fall, my father has beaten melanoma back from stage IV and I have survived cancer, but even with all of that experience, I cannot get my mind around what it must be like to have a child who has had to battle such a deadly disease.

I was deeply affected by the obvious love this mother had for her daughter and the enormous sacrifices she made to care for her during that time. We both agreed that this life is a precious gift, and that our loved ones are the best gift this life has to offer, and that we shouldn't waste a day taking anything or anyone for granted.

The second reminder about how much I have to be grateful for occurred just hours later in the afternoon and early evening. My husband, younger children and I were out clothes shopping about seven miles south of our home. The clouds looked threatening but not threatening enough to keep us home. I usually stay tuned to the weather on the internet or TV but had not that day. My husband shopped with my son to help him find some new pants and shirts and I worked with my younger daughters to help them find the clothes they needed.

During our shopping trip, my 20 year old daughter called my husband frantic about where we were. He told her that we were shopping and she was relieved because she said that she had attempted to drive into our neighborhood after work and the entrance which is by a pond and near a creek had turned into a raging river with the rain (which was especially heavy in and around our neighborhood). She had managed to park on higher ground and walked along that higher ground to our home. She told us though that a neighbor and a very dear friend of ours had not been so lucky.

Louise had been caught in the floodwaters just inside our neighborhood and almost swept away. Thankfully, firemen and others were able to rescue her. After the floodwaters cleared the roadways, we drove toward home, past my friend's car, abandoned by the pond, and directly over to her house. She had been out talking to neighbors and was walking back to her house when we drove up the street. When we pulled up alongside her, I couldn't stop looking at her as she shared her story. I was so relieved that she was okay. Years ago, I had had my own experience with being suddenly caught in flash floodwaters and I knew firsthand how frightening it can be and how you know after you survived, that things could have turned out differently. I am so glad and give thanks in my prayers today that my dear friend Louise survived.

As I write this for myself and to share with you, I reaffirm my commitment to give thanks through my prayers and my actions every day for the blessings that are mine. I will not take them for granted, so as I close, just let me say, thank you for being one of my favorite blessings as a reader and a friend.

Love and Blessings to You,

Debra

Happy New Year!

I feel a wonderful sense of optimism as the new year begins. So many positive possibilities up ahead and I plan to make the most of them.

2009 was a terrific year in so many ways but not without it's challenges and sad times. The saddest for us was my husband's mother's death on November 10th. We had been given just a few weeks notice that her death was imminent after a decade long battle with leukemia. She was a very stoic woman and fought valiantly for years and managed to enjoy a good quality of life for many of those years. I still haven't fully processed the reality that she is no longer here with us on earth. I do believe that there is a life after this life and look forward to seeing her then, but for now, I find myself sometimes having conversations with her...just telling her (through my thoughts) what I would like for her to know about how her grandchildren are doing or to ask her what she thinks of a particular book (we shared a great love for our family and for books).

While our relationship wasn't perfect (what relationship is?), it evolved into something beautiful and mutually rewarding over the years. She was a very bold and outspoken woman who had strong opinions and an enormous sense of joy for life. It took me a few years to learn to speak my mind as honestly and openly as she spoke hers. I will always be grateful for the lessons she taught me in this regard. Also, I will always be grateful for the example she set of living an active and rich life. She loved to walk, square dance, and golf and continued to volunteer to serve others until the end of her life. My husband paid a lovely and moving tribute to his mother at the memorial service. She would have been touched. I love and her and I miss her and I plan, in tribute to her, to make the most of my life and encourage my children to do the same.

As I look back over 2009,the wildest dream I fulfilled during the year was to take a trip to Europe. I was born in England and had never been back to visit. My then 18 year old daughter and I traveled to Germany first to see my sister (whose husband was stationed in the military there until recently). We were thoroughly enchanted with the fairy-tale like villages, the mountains, the snow and how green it was even in the dead of winter. While in Germany, we traveled by train to Trier (the former northern outpost of the Roman Empire)and soaked in the sights.

From Germany, we traveled on a chartered tour bus through Switzerland to Italy and toured Pisa, Florence, Rome, Vatican City, Sorrento, Pompeii, the Isle of Capri, Naples, and Venice (all exquisite; we must have pinched ourselves a thousand times, we were so awestruck by the sights we saw...so much more amazing than we had imagined).

And then we traveled to England. I drove on the left side of the road. That alone was pretty crazy but driving on the "wrong side" of the road was not nearly as crazy as the traffic circles I had to drive through. In some countries you have a circular green space that defines the center of a traffic circle or roundabout, but in England it can be something as indistinct as a small white circle painted in the center of the intersection accompanied by very distinct rules that indicates who has right-of-way. It was crazy. We would be traveling on a major street and a car would come shooting out at us from a side street without any warning because there was a roundabout I hadn't noticed and they had right-of-way. Thankfully, we survived to tour the lovely counties of Essex and Suffolk by car. While there, we stayed in a medieval bed and breakfast (our friend Amy who was traveling with us kept saying "I feel like I am in a story book" during our B&B stay. We felt the same).

We also visited with friends in England who attend the church my family attended when I was little. They showed us a wonderful time. Two families invited us for dinner. One fixed us a proper American meal and the other fixed us a traditional English feast. When people tell me they can't stand English food, I tell them they haven't eaten at Becky's. Her father was a chef and her family ran a small hotel while she was growing up on the Cornwall coast. I have thought about that meal many times since.

After touring the countryside, we moved onto London and were unexpectedly bowled over by the city. So much to see. So much to do. It is a city that pulsates with energy. And transportation,once you figure out the tube and bus system, is a whiz. We toured every site possible in the few days we were there. One of the highlights of our time in London was seeing two plays on the West End: Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera. Both were good but by the end of Les Miz we were absolutely speechless.

If you ever want to travel to any of these places, I hope you'll make a plan to do it. You will not be disappointed. We traveled very frugally but saw an astonishing amount. It helped that we traveled in the off-season (February) and that Europeans were so eager for American tourists. If you ever go to London and want some suggestions for where to stay and how to navigate the city, please let me know. I'd love to share what we learned.

As afar as 2010 goes, I'd love to head off to Europe again, especially with my husband and children. However, like so many I know, we are currently experiencing the downsides of a sagging economy. And I know we aren't the only ones. I was truly sobered recently when I received a Christmas letter from a friend mentioning that she (an engineer) and her husband (a marketing manager) had been laid off this past year in Austin. It is a challenging time for many. And so my goal for this year is to make the very best of things as they are while hoping and working for better.

My big goals for 2010: I plan to learn to play the piano and write a novel. Although a complete beginner on the piano, I've made some real progress already (although my children are tired of the simple songs I play over and over until I perfect them). As far as the novel goes, I've developed an outline and just about completed the first chapter. I am challenged but not overwhelmed (so far) by the process. I also plan to have fun with my family, mostly right here at home, but with some travels to see extended family (another trip to Europe will have to wait until I write that bestseller). I hope that my post finds you in good spirits and making the most of your new year. Best wishes to you. And a Happy New Year!

As I close, let me leave you with this thought: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Love and Blessings,

Debra